作者：Y.Y. 时间：二零零九年十一月十一日
《致死的疾病》警句选译
1.
当死亡是最大的危险时，人们希望活着。但当人们发现比死亡更恐怖的危险时，人们希望死亡。当危险大到死亡都成了希望时，连死的希望都没有便是是绝望。
2.
死亡意味着一切的完结，死于死意味着活着经历死亡。
3.
没有感到绝望，没有意识到绝望本身，就是一种绝望。
4.
……我想我会为这种不幸的存在永远地哭泣。啊！在我的头脑中，比这种最糟糕的疾病和不幸还要恐怖的，是它的隐秘不彰。不仅被这种不幸折磨的人，往往希望并成功地把它隐藏起来，它还会附在人身上，不被别人发现。不会的，它潜伏在那个人身上，连他本人也不会意识到。当世俗的沙漏已经滴完，当尘世的喧嚣变得宁静，当无尽又无意义的忙碌走到终点，当你身外的一切在永恒中静止，不管你是男人还是女人，腰缠万贯还是不名一文，身不由己还是放浪形骸，喜笑颜开还是愁眉不展；不管你是头戴耀眼的皇冠，高居殿堂之上，还是在烈日下苦苦耕作，不被人在乎地活在社会最卑微的底层；不管你是一直被人传颂并会被永远传颂，还是默默无闻地在人群中度过一生；不管环绕你的光辉超越了人类描述的极限，还是人类最严酷最屈辱的判决都落在了你的身上，永恒只会问你，问芸芸众生中的每一个人，一件事情：你是否生活在绝望之中。你是否在绝望之中却不知道自己在绝望，或者把绝望，像邪恶恋情的果实，像不断折磨你的秘密一样，深深地埋在心底，甚至令他人恐惧的，在绝望中狂躁不已。如果是这样，如果你已经生活在绝望中，并一直生活在绝望中，不管你曾赢得了什么，失去了什么，一切都已经失去了。永恒不承认你，不知道你。或者更糟糕，永恒像你被知道的那样知道你，把你捆在绝望之中。
5.
在绝望之中，并不意味着一个人不能继续不错的生活。和别的人一样，他忙于眼前的事物，结婚生子，获得荣誉与尊重。你也许不会注意到，从深层次上说，他缺少一个自我。缺少自我这样的事情，不会在这个世界激起丝毫的波澜。在这个世界上，自我是人们最少关心的东西，拥有自我甚至是危险的信号。所以丢失自我，这个最大的灾难，可以不被察觉地在这个世界上被接受，就像什么都没有发生一样。可其它的损失，如丢失手臂、腿脚、五美元、妻子等等，却肯定会被立刻注意到。
6.
淹没于世人之中，忙碌于世俗之物，精明于世故之道，他忘记了自己，忘记了他在神圣意义上的名字。他不敢相信自己，他发现做自己太危险，做别人更容易，更安全，于是就成了人群中的一件复制品，一个符号。
7.
希望是年轻人的幻像，回忆是成年人的幻像。
8.
普遍而言，认为绝望只属于年轻人的想法是愚蠢的。这种想法暴露了对什么是精神理解的肤浅，和对人是精神而不是动物观点的忽视。这种想法以为信仰和智慧的到来是最容易的事情，就像长牙齿，胡子一样，会随着岁月的流逝，自然而然的不请自来 ... 恰恰相反，随着岁月的流逝，人们会自然而然遗弃一些东西，这才是最容易发生的事。也许随着年龄的增长，你遗弃了仅有的一点激情、感觉、想象，和仅有一点的反思，自然而然地用庸俗的观点理解生活。
9.
就在他完成建筑的那一刻，所有的一切会诡异地消失得无影无踪。
10.
当他相信他肉体中的刺已经深得无法拔出（不管这是不是真实的情况或者只是苦痛使他这样认为），他会想让刺永久地留在体内。
11.
或伴随着像惹人疼小孩般的幼稚，或伴随着空洞没有头脑，大多数人的生活，是由这一点那一点的琐碎构成的：他们一会儿做正确的事情，一会儿又做错误的事情，如此往复。他们可以郁闷整整一下午，也许是三个星期，但他们接着又会有好心情。此后再次陷入一整天的郁闷中。
When death is the greatest danger, one hopes for life. But when one learns to know the even more horrifying danger, one hopes for death. When the danger is so great that death has becomes the hope, then despair is the hopelessness of not even being able to die. (P43)
2.
For to die means that it is all over, while to die death means to live to experience dying.(P43)
3.
…every fact of not being in despair, of not being conscious of being in despair, is itself a form of despair.(P53)
4.
Methinks I could weep for an eternity for the fact that this misery exists! Ah! and here to my mind we have one expression more of the horror of this most dreadful of all sicknesses and misery, namely its hidenness. Not just that someone suffering from it can wish to hide it and may be able to do so, not just that it can live in a person such a way that no one, no one at all, discovers it. No, but that it can be concealed in a person that he himself is not aware of it! Ah ！and when the hour-glass has run out, the hour-glass of temporality, when the worldly tumult is silenced and the restless or unavailing urgency comes to an end, when all about you is still as it is in eternity - whether you are man or woman, rich or poor, dependent or free, happy or unhappy; whether your bore in your elevation the splendour of the crown or in humble obscurity only the toil and heat of the day; whether your name will be remembered for as long as the world lasts, and so will have been remembered as long as it lasted, or you are without a name and run namelessly with the numberless multitude; whether the glory surrounded you surpassed all human description, or the severest and most ignominious human judgement was passed on you - eternity asks you, and every one of these millions of millions, just one thing: whether you have lived in despair or not, whether so in despair that you did not know that you were in despair, or in such a way that you bore this sickness concealed deep inside you as your gnawing secret, under your heart like the fruit of a sinful love, or in such a way that , a terror to others, you raged in despair. if then, if have lived in despair, then what ever else you won or lost, for you everything is lost, eternity does not acknowledge you, it never knew you, or, still more dreadful, it knows you as you are known, in manacles you to your self in despair!(P57)
5.
... in despair, although usually obvious, does not mean that a person may not continues a fairly good life, to all appearances be someone, employed with temporal matters, get married, beget children, be honoured and esteemed -- and one may fail to notice that in a deeper sense he lacks a self. Such things cause little stir in the world; for in the world a self is what one least ask after, and the thing is most dangerous of all to show signs of having. The biggest danger, that of losing oneself, can pass off in the world as quietly as if it were nothing; every other loss, an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc, is bound to be notices. (P62)
6.
By seeing the multitude of people around it, by being busied with all sorts of worldly affairs, by being wise to the ways of the world, such a person forgets himself, in a divine sense forgets his own name, dares not believe in himself, finds being himself to risky, find s it much easier and safer to be like the others, to become a copy, a number, along with the crowd.(P63)
7..
The adolescent's illustration is that of hope, that of the adult recollection.(P89)
8.
In general, it is extremely foolish, and shows lack of insight into what spirit is - as well as failure to appreciate that man is spirit and not just an animal - to suppose it should really be such an easy affair with faith and wisdom that they just arrive over the years as matter of course, like teeth, a beard and that sort of thing... On the other hand it is very easy over the years and as matter of course to leave something behind. And perhaps over the years one leaves behind that little bit of passion, feeling, fantasy, that little bit of inwardness one had, and comes as a matter of course (for such things come as a matter of course ) to see life from the common point of view.(P89)
9.
... just when it seems on the point of having the building finished, at a whim it can dissolve the whole thing into nothing.(P101)
10.
If he is convinced (whether it is really the case or his suffering only makes it seem to be so) that his thorn in the flesh gnaws too deeply for him to be able to abstract from it, then he wants, as it were, to take eternal possession of it.(P101)
11.
Their lives, whether with a certain childlike and endearing naivety, or with empty-mindedness, are made up from a bit of action here, a bit of incident there, this and that. One momentum they are doing something good, the next something wrong again and so on all over again. They can be despair for one afternoon, maybe three weeks, but then they are in good cheer once more, and after that in despair again for a whole day. (P140)
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